on choosing

God is constantly showing his faithfulness to me. today he restored and healed what i thought was lost for a long time, or at least, was without answer.

there is not a day where i learn to lose myself to the will of Christ over again. to me, this is what it means to be fully man but fully living in knowledge of my debt, my slavery and my place in Christ

God's grace in me, despite his faithfulness, his power at work, his promise and deliverance already complete, all of me falls short. everything that is me wants control, to want what i think is best. i am my biggest obstacle in wrestling my way back.

and it is the scariest thing to let go of control and trust in God's will. because i don't know what that is right now. i don't know so many things and despite believing that God knows my heart and what is best for me, i find myself just like peter, who steps out of the boat in faith but panics halfway and loses sight of jesus.

so from the mouth of a sinner, let me challenge you to join me, every day, to think of the ways that you seek control and are hesitant to trust in God and everyday, by His power, come back. and in all that we do, start with prayer. never stop praising because God is deserving, whether we feel it or not. all our praise could not give God justice, but give it still because it is all we have to give.

jesus, come quick and rescue me from myself because by my own power i will never be able to surrender my all to you, i will never be able to have complete faith in you alone. help me be lost in you, to know how to only look to you, because my eyes are distracted and i am prone to wander. would you help me make you my everything